Have you ever felt like you weren’t quite where you are supposed to be? Like there is something you are missing in your life? Like there is more out there… just for you?
I don’t mean just feeling a little uncertain or self-conscious or like you aren’t achieving what you set out to do. What I’m talking about is when you feel uncomfortable, unfulfilled and unhappy enough that it hits you to your core and reverberates in everything you do.
For me, this has happened 3 times. Each time I felt unhappy, to the point where I was just going through the motions of life. I was uncomfortable in my own skin and it felt as though I was not being true to myself.
What I have learned is there is actually a reason this happens to me. If you’re at all familiar with positive psychology, the science of happiness, you may have heard of character strengths. These are the individual qualities that come most naturally to each of us to help us thrive. One of my top character strengths is honesty. It turns out this strength runs so deeply through me – that if I try to live into something that doesn’t fulfill me and isn’t true to myself – I react so strongly I physically and emotionally feel the negative effects.
The first time it happened was when I was approaching my high school graduation. I had grown up in small town USA in Central Massachusetts and I just KNEW I needed to leave. I was miserable. My relationship with my mother was always tense and I was miserable. I knew I needed adventure, culture, and to try things I would never get to try if I stayed near home. So I picked up and left for college halfway across the country in Colorado with a plan to study abroad, travel, and make the upmost of my time while going to school. I thrived. I loved my life, I loved the mountains and most of all, I loved having the chance to do new things. It just felt right.
It was difficult being so far away from my family but the truth is – that’s what I needed. I needed to grow and I needed the space to do it.
Four years later I was ready to head back East and the changes were immense. My heart was more open and forgiving toward those I loved and my relationship with my mother improved vastly. I had the drive to succeed but I had moved on from the hunger for constant adventure. I missed my family and was in need of the unconditional support and love as I transitioned into the next phase of my life.
The next time was shortly after my mother passed away from cancer and I was struggling with fertility issues. I was juggling a fantastic career as the Director of Marketing at a biotech company and trying to care for myself as I sorted through the aftermath of loss. My life felt upside down and out of control and I was forced to re-evaluate what success really meant to me. I realized the job and career I was building did not fit into my vision of success anymore.
Yes, it was stable. Yes, I was making money. But, I was missing one important element that I knew I needed. I needed to believe in what I was doing. I needed to feel like somehow, I was making a difference.
So, I left with the aim to create my own business. I started to consult with small, local businesses, helping them with their websites, email marketing and social media.
Somehow, fate, kismet, luck, or whatever you want to call it stepped in and I was handed an opportunity to work with an amazing organization focused on the education of positive psychology and whole-person well-being and I LEAPT at the chance.
I was searching for my own happiness and somehow began doing a job I loved, that left me feeling fulfilled and also gave me the opportunity to learn the tools, practices and science that went into happiness. Again, I thrived. I was able to take their year-long certificate program and immersed myself in the world of positive psychology. I believed whole-heartedly in the company (and still do) and invested everything I had into it’s growth. I relished in the knowledge I was gaining personally and professionally and began applying what I learned to my life, my relationships, and even to my work. I was working hard to launch courses steeped in this science saw that it made a positive impact in other people’s lives just like they did mine.
While there we developed and launched an amazing an AMAZING set of positive psychology coaching courses. At the time I thought, “Coaching sounds great but how could I coach? I only have experience in the business world.”
After 6 years working for them, two amazing miracle babies, the construction of my families forever home right back in the small town USA I grew up in—that feeling hit me again. I was uncomfortable and lacking in something. Thanks to my background in positive psychology, this time around I already knew exactly what was missing.
For the first time in my life, I truly understood the importance of feeling fulfilled, of having meaning in my life both professionally and personally. I knew I needed to make a larger impact and I could no longer do it where I was. I needed to stop hiding in the background of one organization and get out there and help more people.
Thanks to my work and studies in the positive psychology and coaching space, I no longer just had experience in the business world. I had already learned the science, tools and practices to cultivate happiness from some of the greatest teachers out there. If I combined this with my experience in developing business processes and marketing strategies, I could do more. I could make the impact I wanted to make.
It was time to lead with my heart and take ownership of my work, my life and my happiness and most importantly, help others do the same.
Stepping away from a consistent paycheck, building my own brand and voice and putting myself in front of the world is scary. But, because I am leading with my heart, building a business that works for me, is based on my strengths, my capabilities’ and has a mission that is BIGGER than just me—I’m again thriving.
It’s funny the change that happens when you start living into the best version of yourself. You find confidence you never knew you had. You discover strengths that grow with each choice you make and a gain a sense of fulfillment that outshines anything you have previously known.
Just like I knew when things weren’t quite right, I know this is. I feel it deep down to my bones. I am being 100% true to my needs and myself. I can make a difference. I can help others build a career, a business and a life they love and they can thrive as well.
